he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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