Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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