Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
