If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
