he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize