also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
