I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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