I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
