overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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