what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
