Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
