Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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