U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
