Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
