Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
