so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize