Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
