At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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