he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize