best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I wear drunk well.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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