just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
