is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
