You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
