that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
