we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
