Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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