Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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