The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
