Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
third nipple confirmed
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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