Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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