yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
