wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
