who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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