I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
why didn't you poke me back
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My vagina is very pro this idea
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
