is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
