I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
