some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
