I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
