why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
