I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
