She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
