dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
