dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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