Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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