At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
