I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
