yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
