Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
