I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We left an ass print on the piano.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
