I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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