My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
