i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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