i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
