can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize