he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
