All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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